


Love the Way You Lie

by ChElFi



Series: I Don't Dance [24]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arguing, Break Up, Captain Hill - Freeform, Day 24, Drama, Established Captain Hill, Established Relationship, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-18 15:11:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2352890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChElFi/pseuds/ChElFi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve was supposed to hate her for what she'd done. It would be so much easier if he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love the Way You Lie

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Part 2 of the story. As I mentioned yesterday this is part of a much larger story and I have attempted to summarize the parts that apply to the prompts. I chose this particular story due to this prompt, and my desire to keep the stories T or lower. They have a bigger fight earlier in their marriage but the, um, making up part is M and really, if I edited it down there'd be no making up part. (Not sure if I'll ever get the nerve up to post that part. :D)
> 
> The title is from the Eminem/Rhianna song. The song is a bit more intense than the fight but, as usual, I couldn't come up with anything better.
> 
> Please R&R.

Maria knelt in front of the burning fireplace. The heat on her face a direct contrast to the air conditioning blowing on her back. She could have used the micro-shredder to destroy the files she currently tossed, one page at a time, into the flames, but she supposed the fire was far more symbolic for the actions she had set into motion today.

She heard the apartment door open behind her but she didn't turn to look at Steve. His surprise and shock as she'd laid everything out for him and Tony earlier had been enough to deal with. Now, she knew, he would want more answers. She didn't really want to give them, but he deserved to know why she'd been lying to him from the moment they'd met.

He didn't come over to her, instead he stopped at the kitchen counter. She heard him set down his keys then felt his eyes boring into the back of her head. She kept her gaze steady on her task and waited.

"Is it safe to talk here?" he finally asked after a deep sigh.

"It's always been safe to talk here," she said.

And so she began her first confession.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"This used to be one of my safe houses," she explained.

There was an expected pause before he spoke.

"I thought," then he stopped.

"No, it wasn't just good fortune that made the apartment available," she said.

She could actually hear him rub his hands across his face as he let out an exasperated groan.

They never fought, at least not like Pepper and Tony, or Jane and Thor. But they did fight. It was quiet, almost subdued, but could be just as painful if they weren't cautious with their words. They were both people who had a tight rein on their emotions, so hollering and ranting simply didn't happen. But Maria felt his silence louder than scream.

"What are you destroying?" he asked.

"Not evidence," she quipped.

He paused for another breath and Maria chastised herself for the unnecessary remark.

"They're files of deep cover agents," she told him. "When the Feds sweep through they won't care what information they leak or who they expose. I've already expunged the information from the database."

He was silent again for several minutes.

"Maria," he said, and she thought the tone of his voice would be her undoing.

Now was not the time for sentiment.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked again.

"Someone has to," she said.

"But you can't take the fall for all of this," he complained.

It was certainly not what she'd expected. She'd expected him to be cold to her, she had lied to him for years, after all. Sure, she had done what she could to protect him and to distance the Avengers from SHIELD while there was still time. But what did that compare to all the terrible secrets she'd kept. Secrets like the research being done in the lab in Wisconsin. For that alone he should hate her. She'd known about it for over two years, and suspected it longer before she'd been able to get a location.

Maria finished with the last file and stood as she watched the Manila folder curl up around the edges then quickly succumb to the flames. She thought that was how her heart felt right now. She had played with the fire, skirting it for years, thinking she could contain it for just another day. But that had only been for selfish reasons. She hadn't wanted Steve to know, hadn't wanted to lose him any earlier than she must. She should have handed over what she knew earlier, before it came to this.

"Where's Nick?" Steve interrupted her thoughts.

"With Sitwell and Carter," she said and she looked over at him now.

The look of concern on his face at the mention of Sharon was like a knife to Maria's heart. She knew he felt responsible for her more than any other agent. She was Peggy's niece, something of a link to his past.

"Are they safe?"' he asked.

Maria nodded.

"No one will be able to find them," she said. "They'll come back when Fury's recovered enough."

"But that will be too late," he said and took a step toward her.

Maria stepped away from him and steeled herself at the hurt in his eyes at her actions. He clenched and unclenched his fists as he looked at her. She could see when he set his jaw and she walked around the opposite end of the sofa. She had no intention of letting him change her mind, and that's what he seemed set on, for whatever reason, she couldn't understand.

"What about you?" he asked through his clenched teeth.

Maria only shook her head.

"What about us?" he asked, and this time he didn't let her movements away from him stop him.

He grabbed her arm and made her to look at him. She forced herself to remain emotionless as he searched her face for any reaction.

"It doesn't have to be this way," he said. "This is an unnecessary sacrifice."

"And who would you have take my place?" She raised her chin in defiance as she spoke.

"Hammer's a good one to start with," he said.

Maria only shook her head.

"He'll get his, Steve," she said.

"Why do you always do this?" he asked. Half angry, half frustrated.

"Do what?"

"Always sacrifice yourself for the greater good?"

His pain was evident in his face and voice as he choked out the words.

"Asks the man who sacrificed even his own life for the same," she commented dryly.

Something about her statement affected Steve deeply and she saw raw need and hunger flash through his eyes and across his face. It was all she could do not to pull him to her. As it was, he took a step toward her, intending to pull her to him but she put a hand on his chest to push him back.

Maria knew her husband well. He would never force himself on her. Even after nearly three years of marriage, he still asked permission to make love to her, never wanting her to feel as if she didn't have a choice in the matter.

"I'm going to DC," she said, using every ounce of willpower she possessed to keep her voice steady.

He was supposed to hate her. He wasn't supposed to be looking at her like he wanted her. How could he still feel this way after everything she'd done?

But she had no time for any of this. She had to get to the airport and to the Triskelion. She had no idea when the president would act after Steve spoke to him sometime within the next few days. There were a lot of people she needed to make sure stayed out of the fray. But she, herself, was not one of them.

"You don't need to do this," Steve was pleading with her now.

"I do," Maria cut him off. "And you need to stay away from me."

The pain that flashed across his features shook her resolve. But too much was at stake for her to give in now.

"The world needs Captain America, and it needs him to be good and pure," she explained. "He can't be associated with someone like me."

If the pain she'd seen had been too much, the anger on his face set her on the precipice. She needed to get out now before she gave way to her heart.

She reached for the doorknob and he put his hand on top of hers. His face was in front of hers, their noses almost touching. She nearly laughed as she thought of all the other arguments they'd had, so many had ended like this, then led to something more. That couldn't happen today.

"Why?" he whispered, and his breath along her lips made her knees weak.

She took a deep breath and turned the knob to open the door.

"I'm a spy, Steve," she said, her gaze cold. "Lying and secret keeping are what I do best."

She opened the door and he stepped back. She couldn't look at him again, she would never make it across the threshold if she did.

She walked to the end of the hall and pushed the button to call the lift. He stood in the doorway, watching her. She knew he was suffering and that she was the cause, but there was nothing she could do. There was no other way.

The doors of the elevator slid open and Maria stepped inside, never turning back to Steve as she pressed the button for the lobby and the doors shut.


End file.
